Yoyo ~ I cant sleep !! Ahhhh ~ SO many things on my mind /: Its like a chain of thoughts one leading to another. I hate it when alot of things come to my mind, mostly worries. Frankly speaking I do think that i worry too much on alot of things. Either small or big matters, i worry alot. Something, worrying leads to over-thinking and over-thinking will lead to emo-ing. LOL I want to worry less and just take things as it is. Worrying doesnt change anything. I want to be more positive and happy as I believe as long as i stay positive, things around me will turn out well! When i entered Secondary school, I became more negative as I was very realistic and doesnt want to give myself false hope so i always expect the worst in everything and sometimes i am misunderstood as being a pessimist. Reailty is cruel, staying positive is like lying to yourself and you expect things to turn out for the better. But when it doesnt, you will feel disappointed. So my whole secondary school life was a period of negativity, so things were never really going good for me. Most of the time i can remember is those emo times i have to go through by myself. In conclusion, worries wont go away if you worry.

I just cant stand loneliness I dont wanna to be alone. I have to have someone by myself. Someone whom i can care for, someone who belong to me, someone whom i can call mine. Sometimes when i see couple on the streets, i will feel very lonely. Arent we all the same, why cant we have the same thing? I just want to experience it once, it is so hard to ask for? Im just glad i have friends :) But im such a bastard. I had backstabbed friends, talked bad about them behind their back, and they still recognise me as their friends as they were ignornant of who i really am. I really regret. /:

Todays a normal day. Morning went to Tampines to my agency to hand in the form. I hate taking the 969 >.< Then coincidentally, i saw marie on the bus! At first i didnt notice until she messaged me! Soon after she arrived she fell asleep hahaha, shes still the same haven change! She sleep until damn unglam HAHAHAHA ! Ok after handing in the form i took 969 back agaim /: shag. then everything goes on as usual. Sian, today my sis husband coming over to take Joyce, my niece away and will be coming back on Sunday. /: Just now when they came to take her, she was crying like hell cos she doesnt want to leave. It really hurts me when i saw that, i just went back to my room immediately. Then after she left, my mother said she saw from the kitchen window down at the carpark, she saw him forcefully passing Joyce to his father's girlfriend and forced her to enter the car ): They didnt give birth to the child, they have totally no regards to her well being. My mother said she saw her still crying, i guessed she was shocked and scared ): Why does she have to go through all these? I pity her... But my sister didnt fight for her. I was always feeling lonely at home. It was Joyce who made me feel less lonely sometimes with her random trips to my room. Sometimes she will carry her push car into my room and just leave it here. LOL. Sometimes she will come into my room and just smile :D Hahaha thinking about it just make my day :) Her laughter is priceless! In about a few months time, she will be really leaving our house and going to her father side to stay /: I dont know when i will see her again or will she still remember this family or me, but i hope she will grow up to be a good girl ! She haven even learned how to talk, i wanna hear how her voice sounded like (: I bet my parents would like to hear it too!

Today went to YTSS for class outing! Vivien and minqi bought pizza for the outing and we chatted and talked wait i go sleep first ........... Ok i am back! Ok so first we arrived in school and eat the pizza, then we gathered around and chat abit before the running man games vivien ho and min qi organised starts. Was pretty excited as they pasted the name tag on my shirt! Hahaahh So then cos theres only 4 boys, they split the four boys and made 2 boys the captain of the team. Me and Ashwin were in the same group and norres and Khai is in another. So we get to choose our team mates first, i chose Jiayee, Marie, Yvonne, Michelle, Geraldine and the other team chose Suvitra, Nisa, Huishi, Audrey. The first part of the game will deicide who will be the seeker or hider of the game! We have to run a short distance like the shutter run and we have to run to the other side and finish a drink and then run back to win the game! I represent our team to be the runner and the other chose Khai. then so the race starts and i ran like hell ! I was the first to reach and i gobbled down the drink till i choked! I drank it damn fast cos i thought khai may be quite fast but when i finished the drink and went back, he still haven finish his drink LOL they added tomato or chill sauce into our milo drink lol i only realised it upon reaching the finishing line. But i won and we chose to be the seeker. tbc.............

Yoyo ! Yesterday just ended work in Uniqlo~ Quite happy cos i finally gret to rest after 13 days straight of work! Very exhausting but i recover fast (: Really gonna miss the Uniqlo staffs like Hafiq, Hafeez, ming Da, Bob and the rest la! They really made us feel as though we belong there even though we are just temp staff! Departure sucks /: Then after work went to meet H?an long to drink and lepak. Then we went to the hill top to slack then when we went to the toilet, we suddenly heard some moaning sound coming from the handicapped toilet! LOL. I was showing the epic face to han long because he didnt notice it at first! Then he climbed on top to peek first then followed by me haha! Ok abit sick la /: Then i also climbed and i saw............. ya LOL okay la, then we slack slack then jiu went home le! What a day!

Have been working for 8 days straight now. Dan tired have to keep cattying heavy chunks of boxes and stuff around.. 4 more days till my work end and i will have freedom ~ Its been long since i last ball.. and i need more sleep.

Imagine your plans 2 or 3 years later suddenly having to push forward and have to face everyrhing and adapt to everything. Ever have that?

I dont think i will be anyone's type of guy they wanna be with.
Everytime i see couples walking down the streets, i thought to myself, will i find my another half someday?
Haha, sounds funny i know.

Woke up to a miss call from the recruit agency.
So i called back and they told me they found a job for me at Uniqlo somerset 313.
The pay is low but i agreed to it immediately as i dont want to miss out this chance.
Hmmm going to go broke soon so i just dont want to be too picky so i just accept it.
Its everyday from June 1st to June 13th 3pm-10pm. Hope everything is ok tmr.

Then after  that i rushed from Tampines to Dover SP to celebrate my friend's birthday ~
Been so long since i saw them!
They all rushing and stressing on assignment.. /:
Okay, it's junjie birthday and Yi xuan invited me to school to celebrate his birthday ~~

haha it was fun! I took a piece of cake and smash on his face LOL
Ok la! Hope they score well for their assignment cos they really work very hard for it! (:

 

Okay, after coming back from SP, I went back to YTSS to get my testimonial from school.

The security guard the indian woman one like v friendly sia.

Didnt expect her to be so.

So i went in and suddenly, when i was walking towards the general office, i looked around me, the school where i used to be. Everything seems so close and familiar but yet with a sense of unknown foreign feeling. It's like telling us we dont belong there anymore despite those time we spent in that school. 

So when i entered the general office, the place changed le, now we must walk right all the way to reach the reception counter.

Then i saw Mr Jackson. 

LOL, my arch enemy in YTSS. 

He everytime kp me for nothing.

I remember there's one time when i have my shirt tucked out and i walked past him and he called me to tuck in my shirt but i just walk away and ignore him.

Then he flared up and shouted :" Hey i call you to tuck in your shirt right?! Come with me to see the DM now!" 

LOL got so serious meh?

Seriously, i wasnt feeling scare at all then i just followed him. 

I  have not been called up by teacher to go see DM for a very very long time since sec 2 when i fought with Kelvan. 

So i was wondering what will it be like.

Then i just followed him and unexpectedly, we walked by Mr Lee Ah Liat!

He like damn good to me >.< 

So sad now he leave school le );

But anyway Mr Lee asked me and the teacher to go over and he helped me by confronting the teacher and ask him not to send me to DM >.<................... 

SO TOUCHED !!!

Then the stupid teacher released me and walked away.

WOW ~~~ Then Mr Lee actually helped me in alot of things.

Like i lack of a CCA teacher to sign my form that time when i wanna go Perth. 

Mr low doesnt want to sign (as Teacher in charge of volleyball)

then since i have been helping out in Green club ( in charge by Mr Lee Ah Liat), Mr lee without a doubt he just say come down and find me, i will help you sign ))))))))))):

OMG i cannot explain how i was feeling at tht point of time...

I am really very grateful towards him ...

i seriously dont know what to say.

Haha ok back to the main topic, so i just do some admin stuff then get my testimonial le :D

Went out with friends early in the morning to go gym. Not really early la jsut early for me cos i slept late /: It was great la, did many intense workout and my friends helped me. This is the first time i ever trained so hard in a gym! Then after that meet up with friends again to go SSC to eat a steaamboat buffet call FatFish ! It was not bad! But abit costly, $28. Ate and talked cock and have some catching up (: After that we randomly thoguht of going to LAN shop and play because they keep talking about blackshot when we are eating! Then we go play at the one nearest to SSC. The game like damn epic sia, ppl shouting here and there haha ~ We played like 1 hour but it seems damn long cos in the end we ended up being very tired due to all the shoutings >.< It is awesome to have meet up with friends after so long. Somemore i might be going ns this year and will have lesser chances of meeting them anymore. ): We should take friends for granted. They are a luxury for us.

Yo ~ Long time never post le. Havent being doing much stuff recently. 1 week without school and I alr cant take it le! I cant stand myself not doing anything productive or useful >.< Going to find a job soon. Hai. The tough time is not consider over but its jsut that I try to make no regards to it as much as possible..

Couldnt sleep. Thinking about what im going to do next. I have alr decide to go ns instead of studying but its like i see most of my friends enjoying themselves in poly but i cant help but to look at myself and ask myself why cant i have the same too? Why must everything be so hard on me? I know im too weak. but i have too many arising problems and my weakness is constantly pulling me down and i have no one to be there for me. Everyone else seems to have somekne behind them, Or someone who they can fall back on but everything i fall back, i just hurt my back. Now after quitting school, i feel even more stressed as obviously it was a stupid thing to do. Many ppl asking me not to quit and stuff but i cant hold on anymore. Then i realised i said i wanna work after quitting school but i only see myself staying at home everyday doing nothing. i dont wanna be like this man.. The reason i quitted poly is becos i have a dream. Im risking everything i have and to pursuitt my dreams. its a silly thing to do but i really want it so badly..even though its not realised..im going to try very hard to achieve it. Anything possible. Everything. i dont wanna regret not trying to go for my dream.

Today went to OCS - officer cadat school with my class.
The place quite boring la, but my friends made it fun (:
Early in the morning i have hti presentation with Junjie ~
He very good in talking sia, he see the paragraph one time jiu can summarise le.
Ytd do the powerpoint till like 4am then woke up at 7am >.<
Today is my last day in school ):
So i wanted to keep some good memories for myself so I wanted to treat my friends better for the last day LOL.
Anyway i really like this class ):
They bond in a fast way and we grow very close despite it only being the 1st month only.
I will miss them.

Today went to class; as usual, and when my classmate saw me they were damn surprised cos of my hair colour LOL.
They say they cant recognise me >.<

Anyway with this new colour, when i walk outside ppl keep staring -.-.

BUT I really like it! I think i can only keep it till end of this year then need go NS le ))):

Yo! Yesterday jsut dyed my hair ~
Personally i like the colour alot!
I spent a total of $55 on hair and $20 on ear piercing and earings /:
Shyt... my sister de camera still under repair.
Dont know need pay how much >.<
Damn stupid lo, that day accidentally dropped it into my maggie mee then spoil >.<

Okay, she finally repiled me.
Fianlly she gave me a answer, gave me a reason to give up on her.
She is as bitch as usual and I have to confirm one last time shes the same like every other girls.
After so many years, i thought she may have grown abit more mature but i was wrong.
So disappointed.
I was so bloody stupid to hold on and feel hurt for so long.
Those endless nights when i cry myself o sleep thinking of her was such a dumb thing to do.
She doesnt even know what love is.
She dont understand the feeling im going through.
Karma will meet up with her some day and f her upside down.
Bye, I shall bid farewell to this stranger who i never knew.

Anyway today i have decided to withdraw from poly.
Had been skippping soon for 2 days straigth and most probably tmr too.
I have no more motivation to stay in this course anymore.
Kept overslept, and wake up to a tired morning and then decide to skip school.
I have enoguh of all these.
Everyday have to do work till 4-5am in the morning then have to sleep afew hours then got to wake up and go school only to receive more assignments.

But after i quit poly, what should i do?
I really dunno.
I was hoping to be able to appeal to other school but it failed.
NS? Work? Rot at home?

I dont wanna be so useless.
I dont want to disappoint my parents.
I want to earn loads of money to repay them and then treat myself with something nice.

A path of uncertainty.
Quitting doesnt mean you are weaker.
Qutting leads me to a much tougher path.
I wish the best for myself. All the best.

Saw this post on facebook.

I think its quite true and interesting so i put it up.

 垂死者的5大人生憾事

第1個遺憾 便是沒有勇氣去追求自己的夢想。
第2個遺憾 就是太努力工作，而沒有陪伴自己的家庭，包括小孩的成長階段，以及陪伴另一半的時間。⋯⋯
第3個遺憾 是最普遍的遺憾，是後悔自己沒有勇氣表達內心的情感
第4個遺憾 後悔沒和老朋友保持連絡。
第5個遺憾 後悔自己沒有快樂些。

Just did cube like 8 times. all fail. Damn fk up.. So many problems.. 1 hour more to sleep to wake up again to face the nightmare get me out of here please. i cant take it anymore.

Trying to cope with my course.
Trying real hard to jsut hang on.
Trying hard to forget her.
Trying hard to become a better person
Trying to be stronger.
I'm trying.

Hi.
Today ... hai.
Bad days are compiling yet I am becoming weaker and weaker.

I just need some help /:

Had HTI today, seriously dont understand anything he was saying. I literally blanked out and stared into blank space.
Then after that went to see my PTN (form teacher) about my course transfer.
He told me many stuffs.
If i wanna quit school after 6 months gov will call me to go for NS.
Means that i cant work and wait till next year to go into a course.
And if i go through first sem and got bad result, I cant transfer to other course and most probably will be sacked by the school and leave a bad record for myself and wont be able to go to any poly anymore.

So the only thing left is to transfer or to stay.
If i transfer i have to pay the other school another school fee and means i have to pay twice.
Even so, their intake may already be full and not accepting anymore student and that will leave me with one last option which is to stay.

Went to VAS late for 30mins in the end the cher haven take attendence yet. lol

Pon FDS to go watch dance performance.

My life is now seriously damn aimless. I have lost my direction...

I am just like walking without a direction.

I seriously dunno what to do next ):

My future is on the line /:

Please help me. Someone, help me ):

I cant continue like this. I deserve a bit more...

today is SP cca carnival. Signed up for basetkball and hip hop dance club
Met up with hui shi tth junhao and khai to walk around the cca booth.
Thank god got them if not i alone
I dont think i will have time to go for the cca though cos of my fuck up course.

today i call TP admission hotline and they said they had close on the appeal and intake of student.
I rly dunno what to do, I dun wanna stay in this course.
I cant stand it,
it is draining my life away.
Everyday i feel myself dying more and more.

The lecturer said " After you hand in your assignment, we will brief you on your next assignment."

............
Fuck him seriously.

Every day since i entered Design school, everyday i have to worry bout assignemnt.
Fk it.
It's just assignment after assignment,

I wanna get out of this place.
Can anyone help me?
I feel very lost and confused.
If i quit this course, then do i ahve to wait one more year for the next intake?
Then i will waste another one year. /:
I rly dun wan this to happen
Why cant everything go smothly for me.
I just want a normal life like everyone.
Maybe find someone i like, enter a good course, enter a good cca have a good part time job and then just lead a simple life. Can i?

Now at SP da vinci library.
I just called TP admission and they said they had closed the appeal and intake of student in interior and architecture design..
My hopes are all gone now.

Damn, why does all this shit always happen to me.
I dont want to stay in this course /:

DAMN TIRED.
Today morning lesson almost faint in class but luckily yi xuan gave me sweets!
She didnt know that she saved my life!
Was still feeling abit sick and stuff
Wanted to go home after first lesson but in the end i stayed for the whole thing.
Just rushed thru my FDS work. DAMN SIAN
Tmr got fds see the lecturer then sian liao
I just found out that tmr morning i have gen ed which start at 8 !!!
So i goign sleep to now cya

Today went to Scape to work in the flea market!
Was sick so im damn tired ):
Hope i recover soon so i can focus on my work.
Work was alright, i am selling phone accessories.
Just sit there and when got customer come then attend to him or her.
Okay la. The thing that attracted me is that it pays me daily  ^^
So i can get my pay straight after work ! ((:

Now sick and i will postpone my painting work to tmr and tmr must chiong le!
JYJY ~

This is my final product, I have done 'In the car' halfway. Hope everything turns out well. Got so many assignment to hand in and its just week 1.

Today is a rough day for me. Went to school with fever and seem not able to cope with anything..
Almost gave up.
The VAS was killer man, they want us to paint 4 pictures in the weekend but i got work on saturday..
Then i also sucks at painting..
Then i was damn worried and damn stressed... /:

Then after VAS is FDS ! The worst killer ever. The lecture all very big shot and damn kp!
Cant stand them, treat us like secondary school kids. They will say "Why do i still hear people talking?!"
Maybe becos they have ears thats why they can hear us talking? LOL

Especially the female lecturer. Damn sarcastic /:
Entertaining herself nia

For FDS, we have to draw dots o.o
Seriously, i find what i m learning in CF have no relation to my interior designing.
I was caught in a freaking dilemma to transfer to TP /:

TP interior design and architecture is very direct and they learn designing straight in 1st year not like us ):
I feel this is a total waste of time. Later on we still have to print stuff on t shirt and do some silk screen crap /:

I was on the verge of tears, i know abit gay right? Haha, but really stress.  If i change school i have to readapt to TP and i will definitely lost all contacts of my friends in SP.
I went for FOC design camp, Sports camp and FOP and i came to know many serious and friends from other course. If i change school, everything will be in vain and ... but is my future more impt or my friends? Or should i stick to my current course? Can someone give me a answer? Please. i need help. I dunno if i can withstand this...

Got a very bad flu ):
very jialat...
doing some work now ~
ahhh tmr is gonna be a long day ): wish myself all the best !
Cos tmr is fds and vas most chim subject ):

Poly life have been tiring so far..
VAS, GC, OC, FDS, BDC, HTI and Gen ed.
Every module will have to keep sketchbook/journal /:
Very stress la.

Today went artfriend to buy newsprint paper for the class. Its damn heavy man...then i went straight to orchard for job interview. The interview was damn stupid.. she asked me to come back 2 months later o.o like wtf? if im in no need of money then why i go work? Then still have to wait for 2 months?
Wasted trip down and my ez link card is crying, badly.
My hands now very jelly. No strength at all. /:
Plus my damn heavy lappy..

Tmr is the start of poly life!
Kinda excited but sian. /: Prepared all the stuffs for tmr le!
Wish myself all the best for tmr (:

Zircon 2012 Class 53 with our 2 wonderful Gls Rahimi and Jehenn! (missing Agnes, Lisa and Wei Jun)

These 2 wonderful gls made our FOP extra fun, crazy, hyper and embarrassed ! Haha, embarrasased because they are always doing stupid and nonsensical stuff all the time!

We only knew each other for like 4 days and we joked around, give each other names, scold each other for fun LOL. We open up because of our gls !
Frankly speaking, at first when I saw Rahimi, i thought sian la! Why got him as a gl? But in the end i found out hes actually a fun guy to be with! (sound so gay) LOL

Woke up early in the morning to miss my appointment /:
Was damn tired ytd as I woke up damn early for SP flag day!
Was very enthu but our location was preety bad ):
Our location was at commonwealth mrt station and the crowd was alright so the money i collected was very little ):
I collect $22.50, I donated $2.20 from my own pocket (:
Was damn disappointed cos i tried very hard ):

then ytd after flag day went to SP aSPire rock concert with classmates and in the end they left one by one and eventually left me alone so i met up with hui Shi, min qi and vivien and went back home /:

As for today, in the afternoon i went to Sp to activate my Photoshop and AutoCAD.
then suddenly thoguht of going to try and find jobs so in the end met up with Jasmine to go Jcube ~
It was alright ): It was disappointing..
Heard alot of people saying how good Jcube was but in the end i went, it has little shops not that most of them are renovating. And we took our time slowly to walk around it and we finished walking the whole shopping centre in around an hour o.o

Went to the Ice Rink to laugh at people falling down! LOL
then went to Kungfu Paradise to makan ~ The food was nice (:

Then went home and took some pictures on mrt ~

Just a short post.
Today got SPICE training and material fair and stuff.
After SPICE theres a briefing on the DID bursary award.
The award is damn tempting and I dont have to work anymore. On top of that, after I come out of NS i will surely get a job with a min pay of $2.5k ++

But do i really want to be Interior Designer? If I really go for it I wont be able to pursue my dream. Even so, will i be good enough for the bursary? Will my result be good enough?

500 th post

Sports camp jsut ended ! Wil be blogging about it soon ~

Hi! My sports camp just ended 2 days ago and currently im on the train to SP for sports camp at St John Island! Will update more soon (: Cya guys on Saturday!

Its not that i wanna run away; escape from everything.
I'm too tired to shoulder all these by myself; in my current state.
Give me some time.

Feeling so shitty.
So tired
Had an intense basketball match just now in the end no appetite to eat dinner..
Everytime i over exhaust myself I will have no appetite to eat.
Waste food /:
People in those poor countries dont even have food to eat );

Now I'm feeling very sick and tired.
Maybe I played too hard just now.
What's more tmr is Design camp! -.-... Haven pack my bag haha ~
Hope everything turns out well (:

羅志祥 - 不具名的悲傷 完整CD版

羅志祥 - 不具名的悲傷

作詞：管啟源
作曲：林倛玉

我沒有比 其他人強悍
這沒有什麼好隱瞞
淚水和你一樣燙 也會有心慌
只是不代表我要對人講

工作很忙 沒有誰不忙
我在工作之間流浪
剩下的未標示的時光 就像一個空罐
找不到任何事情 可以填滿

有一種情緒是不具名的悲傷
跟我愛不到的那人彷彿無關
只有回憶發出的悶響
越聽越覺遺憾
我可不可以什麼都不想

這是你留給我不具名的悲傷
我甚至說不出痛在哪個地方
愛不費一顆子彈 靈魂卻洞穿
我投降 能不能把記憶關上

工作很忙 沒有誰不忙
我在工作之間流浪
剩下的未標示的時光 就像一個空罐
找不到任何事情 可以填滿

有一種情緒是不具名的悲傷
跟我愛不到的那人彷彿無關
只有回憶發出的悶響
越聽越覺遺憾
我可不可以什麼都不想

這是你留給我不具名的悲傷
我甚至說不出痛在哪個地方
愛不費一顆子彈 靈魂卻洞穿
我投降 能不能把記憶關上

越強烈的愛後勁越強
痛一直延長 在往後的每個夜晚
我以為時間是最好的偏方
治好的全都只是皮外傷

我的不具名的悲傷
跟我愛不到的那人彷彿無關
只有回憶發出的悶響
越聽越覺遺憾
我可不可以什麼都不想

這是你留給我不具名的悲傷
我甚至說不出痛在哪個地方
愛不費一顆子彈 靈魂卻洞穿
我投降 能不能把記憶關上

Recently I just bought a Alienware M14X laptop!
Ahhh.. borrowed money from parents to buy it.
Have to work even when school starts but haven even find job yet!
Went for cotton on interview and everything seems fine but they didnt call me ):

Hai alot of my seniors say its really very hard for anyone to really work part time.
I was even thinking of joining dance club.... -.-
LOL see how ba!
Tmr going down to SP for my Sports camp meeting ~
Then bring my lappy down to see if theres any free slots for configuration (:
Then dont have to keep traveling down le!

“The competitor to be feared the most, is one who never worries about others at all. But goes on making himself better all the time.” -Blake Griffin

“I would tell players to relax and never think about what’s at stake. Just think about the basketball game. If you start to think about who is going to win the championship, you’ve lost your focus.”
-Michael Jordan

"I think someone should explain to the child that it's ok to make mistakes. That's how we learn. When we compete, we make mistakes."
-Kareem Abdul-Jabba

“You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?-Vince Carter

"I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

-Michael Jordan

Am practising guitar.
What the shit.
I give up so easily LOL. Not easy la. I cut all my finer nails just for the guitar liao
Hai hai. Jy ~

March 4 2012
Went to OCBC cycling 24km with Vivien.
Woke up at 5am and only slept for 3 hours because I have work the day before.
It was a fun experience overall ~
Starting got many road bikers fall down, its like starting only one fall down and but the cyclist behind him collide into him and it forms a continous chain and around 5 more cyclist fell down.
On top of that, they were all traveling at top speed!
Scary ah ~

me and vivien

My helmet ~

My medal ~

My wife ~ <3

Smooth roads never make good drivers. Smooth seas never make good sailors. A life without struggle never makes a happy person.

On Feb 25 when i reached home my mom suddenly told me i got a package from my poly.
I was having mixed feelings.
I was afraid that my appeal will fail and i will get in Computer Engineering.



So when i went to pick up the package i saw this



"Admission to Doploma in Interior Design"

I was freaking happyyyyyyyyyyy ~

LOL after the failed online appeal i finally get into Interior Design ~
haha relieved la

And for now i have to fill in all the poly admission thing. Quite a hassle but still going to complete it :X
I cant take it for granted now ~

FYI i am going to collect my bike tmr ~
it will look like this but this is not mine. I just found this pic online ~
Excited ! It cost $398.
Waiting for my pay to come!

From feb 20-26 i work with my friends at the event : Adidas event to find the top 50 fastest player or what in Singapore

had fun there even though it was tiring.
Get to know many new friends there (:

Feb 20 2012
Went to work wit Jing Yong , Mao feng and thiam hock at 112 Katong.
Used my GPS to locate the area. LOL damn inconvient sia that place.
Transport fees also so bloody ex
Work as Adidas event de people.
Adidas is promoting their new product - the micoach, a device to calculate the top speed of the athele.

Feb 17 2012

YOYO
Today went to USS with my friendsssssssssss ~
Woo. Went with Jingyong, Raynor, Junhao, Patrine, Marie, Audrey and Jiayee !
Tried the Transformer ride first, it was awesome and so realistic even though it was a bit bumpy and stuff but it was epic!
Then tried the Human roller coaster ride, was very scare at first but eventually it turned out very fun and thrilling.
ALL VERY FUN LA! TMR CONTINUE GOING SLEEP LE DAMN TIRED !

Fk la, valentine's day made me think of her, ytd i messaged her, she doesnt know i changed number and that person was me so she replied a very friendly reply, I was so damn happy, but also sad at the same time. If she knew it was me all along, she wouldnt even reply me. Why i stil cant freaking forget her. Please stop this joke, i need to forget her. Even though i had said it a lot of time, i looked back to my year 2008, i also did mentioned i wanted to forget her. I just hope I get into some accident or something and i lost part of my memory with her in it. I feel so lonely, i cant take it anymore ):

Today went to Sim Lim square with Jiwei to buy my graphic card in the end i bought many things LOL
A new bag - $26
Graphic card - $115
Universal phone charger - $66
Micro HDMI cable - $25

Waaaaaaa ~ I must save money le!

Came across this picture, very inspiring.
Because recently I injured my hand and leg so I wanted to rest my wound first.
I think i should resume my training soon ~

Now i blog is just for myself to remember the events that once happened.
Imagine ten years later i look back to my blog and i will be like O.O
LOL

Feb 11

Went to cycle with thaimhock , jun hao and raynor.
I was late...........again.
This time we cycled from Yishun to Marina Barrage!
Madness right?
It was damn tiring but damn fun (:

I FELL DOWN AGAIN!
Second cycling trip and i fell down the second time!
The first time was pretty bad and this time it was worst!
I was lying down on the floor like the first time and just waiting for me to accustom to the pain then i get back on my feet.
What a disaster. If you see the picture below you see my leg bleeding and ther are some tissues on the floor to dry my blood.
I also quitted my job on that day.
It was very tiring and meaningless...
Everyday i work kena scolding and I am tired.
Tired from all the bad things that had happened to me.
Posting results, work and some personal stuffs...
I wish she was here.... JUST KIDDING!
Lol i know she wont come back to me le, i secretly praying for her and i wish her all the best (:
Perhaps I may never forget her?




Feb 12

Went to Ji wei house to celebrate his birthday ~
LOL damn crazy haha.
Played around with his Nerf gun and do alot of stupid stuffs.
Overall its damn fun, its been long since I had so much fun since working and the posting results and stuff.

Impossible to make it possible.

假如你还在这里
假如转身就看见你
假如可以抱紧你不再离去
假如你还在这里
假如可以再回到过去
假如等的失去前
学会珍惜 ...

Got the result for JAE appeal posting today.
Another f up day.
Things always doesnt go right for me, not even once.
A few days ago had some problems at work, quitting after this week.
When i saw my application saying my appeal was unsuccessful, i stared blankly at the screen.
I dunno what to do next.
For those who said 'its better than not being posted to any school right?'
I really feel like smacking them in their bloody face.

My blog posts all like so emo
Okay going to post something happy now (:

17 January 2012

Everything i do reminds me of her, now i have to start all over again.

Today 17 jan 2012, is my birthday(:
I am happy.
Even though i got no birthday cake or celebration..
at least i tried to be.
luckily i didnt expect anything. if not i will be more disappointed.
Anyway now 18 years old le...
Ya.

MEOW ~ LOL so cute HAHA

Tmr by 4pm have to submit the JAE.
Doesnt even have one fking choice of course down.
Hah.
How? Why am i like that.

Jan 9

It's the day of O level result release day.
I was aiming for a 13 or at worst 15.
In the end i got a 17.
fk up.
I did my best le in the end i only i got a B3 for my POA and CS.
Fk, the 2 subjects i depend heavily on.
I was confident in my English and was expecting a B3 or at worst B4.
In the end C6.
My targets my poly courses -.-...

Jan 11

Went to cycle with thiam hock, raynor and junhao ~
Overslept and when i woke up i saw 5 missed calls on my phone and i saw my clock i panic !
Then tth came to my house.
LOL was really very tired.
Ate breakfast then cycle to Kranji
Lol i fell down! Got many injuries here and there.
I think i did a flip and i injured my wrist, shoulder, butt, palm and ankle.
then we went to Sungei Buloh water reserve.
There got many big monitor lizard !
Very cool la, first time see so big monitor lizard!
Then walked around hoping to see a crocodile because the sign write "Caution, watch it!" with a crocodile picture there.
Overall its fun (:

TOMORROW is the official release of O level result....
I dun know if i feel anything.
I dunno what course or school i wanna go to.
What if i fail?
I got no target at all.
What will my score be? What school or course will i go to?
Excited, but feel so empty and aimless.

Expect the worst, prepare for it. So whatever shyt happens it cannot be worst than what you had prepared for; you will be able to handle it.

Jan 08 2012
Today didnt go to work due to something.
Went to polyclinic but it was too late and it closed and many shyt happpens
I lost my 93355989 sim card and i lost my ez link card. Very f up
I back tracked my route to find my ez link card but to no avail.
I spent like 1 hour plus walking back the road i walked under the blazing hot sun.
Then i went to all the clinic all closed.
Today is really a f up day.
Tmr getting my LG optimus 3D le ~
Finally changing phone. But that will also add up to my expenses.
I have to pay adult fare alr and have to pay my own phone bill.

It's the New Year yo ~

Say hello to 2012 !

On December 21 2011 i spent my last second with my friends Weishin, Jevon, Norres, Ashwin and Danial or something, dunno how to spell his name.

Chiong to meet them when i ended work at 10pm.
Luckily i was able to make it.
Walked very long and we stood at the bridge waiting for the countdown when Jevon and some other people tear down the plastic cover and we climbed over the fence to have a clearer view of the fireworks ~
This year was better than last year's because last year was cramped and this year is just great~

Lucky they invited me or i will go home and sleep after work~ ):

LOL.

Today is my 11th day of being a server in Brewerkz ~
and i am still counting on ~~

NEW YEAR CHANGES

I want to be more matured and expect a big postive change in myself whether it's internal or external self.
I want to earn money for my future and my dreams.
I want to look more different (handsome) haha.
Be better in Basketball
Learn more dances.

Yo ~
Today is christmas eve !
Today i went for work and its John's last day ):
He treated me, Angela and Kim a tower of Kolsch, snack sampler and Hawaiian pizza.
Almost drank sia
Abit suey here suey there so stop drinking le.
He keep hugging everyone because everyone is so close with him
He told me some stuff and I was very touched.
He taught me many stuffs and i am very grateful to him...
Then ate and chiong to mrt to catch last train lucky manage to get onto one.
If not will have to cab home ):

Work work work ~

Work today extend till 10pm. Was supposed to end at 6 because friday is really a very busy day.
I started working as a server today.
tbc

Today wake up damn early for work!
Then trained and walked to clarke quay.
Then when i reached there i realised I wasnt suppose to work today! Oh my tian ~
I was supposed to tmr at the same timing but i went today instead.
FYI. my timing for tmr is a killer schedule which is 12-11pm and i experienced it today and have to again tmr!
But like that i earn around $80 dollars one day not bad eh (:
But its just damn tiring, my body almost couldnt take it and i spammed coffee at work.
The coffee was damn bitter and i dunno how to make it less bitter and when i drank it, i immediately hyped up!

AND WORST OF ALL
I dropped a pizza today ):
Was very guilty about it and i scalded my hands ):
But the manager jsut said :"nvm nvm, accidents do happen.."
That manager normally very fierece one and he suddenly so ... I very ... you know.

Aiya, but ya, hope it wont happen again (:
I scalded my hands alot of times and i sometimes have to endure the burning hot plates on my hands all the way to my customer's table.

It was all worth it though.
Even tough it was tough but it was fun (:

She is a good girl.
I took her for granted.
I wanted to show her I have changed, but how?
Not treasuring her was my mistake.
If i can, i want to turn back time.

Had a tough day at work yesterday.
Leave house at 1015 to go to work and have to reach at 12.
Have been working at Brewerkz and ytd was my 4th day there.
The person there is very nice but there are some .. ya.
You cant expect everyone to treat you well.
Ytd was my first day of full shift work where i have to work from morning to night for around 10 hours. Tmr i have the same full shift again and i will be working for 11 hours.
I started out great and was starting out to enjoy myself when i got tired and suddenly i thought of her.
It was when I started to make a lot of silly mistakes and i can see from the eyes of the manager and some sucky staff that their eyes say something bad about me.
But i dont care man.
I dont give a damn about them if they treat me like that. I just have to try best to work and make lesser mistakes and do my job and not slack off.

Met Pook and Poulina 2 new workers there.
There are very friendly and chatted with Poulina for almost all the while when there is no work to do and she is a uni grad who is on a internship or something if im not wrong, with Brewerkz.
Got to know one guy, Ron.
He taught me some stuff and talked and etc.

Suddenly thought of her. It sucks.
Messaged her but she didnt reply. It sucks.
Another night of thinking of her and crying till Im tired then sleep.
I am afraid of waking with the same feeling of pain knowing she is happy without me and doesnt need me.
I miss her.
But she miss me no more.

"To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing."

Saw this on her tumblr.
I have tried so hard to forget her and this is the result.
I kept going to her tumblr uncontrollably and even thought of going JC for her.

Dec 2 2011

Went to work with huishi and junhao at Pasir Ris Camp as server.
It was a NCC event and we have to serve food for them
It was very fun and get to know many people and after that, we went to have supper then walk home !

Dec 29 and Dec 30

Went to MBS with friends ~

Yesterday night went to Audrey house to partyyyy ~
It was really boring at first but it eventually turn out great!

November 18

Woke up at 6 to meet Yu xuan to go Jurong point to see 2PM !
They are having meet and greet session there!
then met up with xiao ling, yan ping and saw Weiling, fadilah, yon jun and Zi wei !
It's all ytzen ! HAHA
By the way alot of girls go! At first i was the only boy at the queue but after that slowly ya..
There are many people there and everyone was squeezing! Luckily we were early and got a good position to see them! They are awesome !


November 19

Went to work with Marcus, Hui shi, thiamhock and Jing yong at Suntec convention
We helped bears to wear clothes and we earn money!
Haha so cute right the job? (:

我不知道为什么过了这么久，还是不能忘记你。虽然你对我那么冷淡，我还是忘不了你。请你告诉我，要怎么才能忘记你。。。

Today went to Sentosa with FRIENDS ~ Fun but tiring ~

Sun tanned. Play awhile slack had alot of fun ah !

First lesson in life is learning to live alone happily..Bcoz we won't be knowing when will we b left alone by the people we like..!

LOL i was kinda happy when i saw this!
Girls can be protected from rapist now ! :)

Yo! Now O levels 'end' le now kinda rotting at home.
But just now went to ball.
Yesterday I moved my computer from my grandmother's room to mine!
It was such a huge project and I spent 4 hours doing so!
But my room looks neater and it has got more sense of belonging (:
Starting i was kinda sad because i moved my mirror to my grandmother's room.
That mirror had accompanied for many years and I had learned many dance all thanks to that mirror! Like got feeling with the mirror le.
Haha.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today woke up with a sad plus angry yet happy feeling.
I dreamed of her again!
Fcuk.
I kept reminding myself to be strong and have to forget her and this fcuking dream, made me remember everything again.
I dreamed of approaching her and talking to her. It's like a 'dream' come through.
I always wanted to talk to her but i know she wouldnt even want to see me. The sight of me just irk her.
The dream was all a lie.
It's still affecting me now.

Yoyo ~
Long time never blog.
I am gonna blog about the few days before O levels English examinations.
Its around Oct 22 - 23.
I had some infection around my .. behind area and it was really hard to even sit down and focus on studying. I was very afraid of not being able to bear the pain during the English examination.
I even prepare for the worst scenario that I wont be able to take the exam and retake next year. ( ok abit exaggerating but always be prepared for the worst )
the day before the exam, I was not able to sleep as the pain was really tormenting.
I kept waking up in the middle of the night due to the piercing pain.
The next day i cab to school for my exam as i really couldn't walk but miraculously, when i was taking the paper, the pain was gone which was a good thing.

When i received the English compo, when i saw the "Freedon" theme, i was shocked and was lost so i immedaitely went to do the letter writing but in the end i screwed up my letter writing.
Ironically, the "freedom" i was less confident on, i did quite well for it, i think?
I wrote about someone being bounded to a wheelchair and the freedom of running in the soccer field and playing soccer were stripped away from him etc.

I thought it might be a nice one.

Anyway i did my best!

Math, English, Computer Studies down! :D

I left without a reason, I returned with an excuse, hoping you would forgive.
But I shouldnt have left in the first place.

"The world is a dangerous place not because of those who do evil but because of those who looked on and did nothing" Albert Einstein
Today i had a horrifying dream!
I dreamed that we went somewhere with my chalet clique and i saw a ghost wearing red chasing us.
I was with Rich and Jasmine and before that, all of us were buying stuffs like drinks for our chalet.
It was terrifying man!
The ghost was very tall, taller than a average person and I was still having the creeps just thinking about it.

Today went to school for our English lesson.
I got back my compo and letter writing, all four of them.
2 letter writing i got 18 and another 2 compo i got 18 and 19.
REAL HAPPY MAN !
Mrs Eu aint the teacher who would mark leniently, which was great and i was very happy!
I hope i can sustain my grades and lastly, I want to thank MRS EU ! Without her, all these are not possible !

Today is Science O Level practical.
Screwed up.
Both Physics graph and Chemistry the evidence part.

GRADUATION

YO !
Yesterday Oct 14 was my Graduation Day in Yishun Town Secondary School !
Kinda regret though. Didnt take much pictures. I am afraid i might miss the school and my friends too much.
Cant imagine I wont be going to Ytss anymore.
No more attending lessons.
No more sleeping in class.
No more acting to be awake but in fact sleeping during lesson time.
No more socialising in class with friends.
No more recess with friends.
No more morning assembly.
No more afterschool-go-out and relax feel.
No more nightstudy with friends.
No more 5N ghost expedition.
No more hanging out in school.
No more Bryani Rice on friday.
No more 'dirty' laksa in school canteen.
No more experiencing secondary school life.
No more waking up early and reluctant to get off my bed.
No more a lot of stuffs /:

On Graduation Day, saw Mr Zhuo cry. Almost cry when i saw him cried.
So i stayed away from him because i am afraid i might cry too. And once i cry, i wont stop and it will be very unglam.
I really miss my friends alot and dont bear to leave the school and them but i couldnt show because I dont want to lost control of my emotions.

I will miss YTSS

YO ! Today is the last day of our Night study session ):
A lot of people like dont bear to leave the school.
Guess you will never realise what you lost until its gone.
But we will still see each other in the future right?
But still ...
Took things for granted.

Tmr is our Graduation day le, kinda looking forward to it!
COME TMR COME !

Today have the Graduation Day rehearsal quite stupid /:
Saw some of my friends like sort of "got prizes' cos its a rehearsal.
It reminds me of those days which i will also be there, on top of the stage, recevinig a prize ):

Didnt go to school today, needed a break. Was too tired to even listen in class.
Feel so f'ed up.
I dunno what im thinking lately.

Okay i went to read my 2008 blog posts. Kinda exciting LOL.
I hoped i had blogged earlier just so i will be able to remind myself of the happy times i had with her...
Will blog more so a few years down my path i will venture back to this post and remind me of the O level chionging days.

11 more days to her birthday
12 more to Graduation Day
17 more days to O level first paper.

I will chiong very hard de, everydeay stay in school till 8.45pm and will be very focus.
Its now or never ~~

So long never posted le ! Have been busy 'studying' and going for night studies till like 7 everyday.

On September 23 2011

We have a volleyball BBq in school and all the volleyball players were present! The juniors have very good relationship with the teachers in charge, which is good! I can see that they are very bonded and i wished the best for them. Went to play basketball with most of the volleyball boys and the teacher in charge. Actually wanted to do night study but it's my last year so i am gonna celebrate with the boys !

Today was a pretty bad day, was supposed to have emath night studies but i injured my neck during PE lessons in the morning and my whole day was screwed up :S VERY PAIN )):
Couldnt concentrate in class etc.. My math cui sia.
Hai whole day screwed.


The day i gave up love

"Turning off your emotion at the right time for the right results."

"I will rewrite it again, our story will not end, for it is Fiction."

"In case you will leave me, the background is a small room without an exit "

"The less you care, the happier you will be."

Sept 6

Went to H&M with Huishi and Audrey. Shopped around and bought some stuffs. Then went around cineleisure, hereen and taka. Because Audrey they all wanted to buy Marie's birthday present. AND I bought a earpiece ! So happy! Cos I lost my old one and without a earpiece like can listen to no songs ):

"There's nothing worse than meeting the perfect person at the wrong time"

Sept 7

Morning woke up checked my Hotmail inbox and realised that I can withdraw money from PayPal account!!!!!!!!! HAPPY TO THE MAX ! Because it have like 103 dollars inside. So happy ~ Because recently really cash tight and have to keep borrowing from friends. And if i got money then i can buy friend's birthday present !
Then went to town with Wei Shin and Huishi to H&M. to shop for Audrey birthday present! then after that left and hui shi and weishin went to watch movie. Bought some earrings for Audrey at DIVAS for 17 dollars.

Sept 8

Went out with Yuying, Jasmine, Weitao, JunHao, Wei Ming and Liangying to celebrate Wei cai's advance birthday! I WAS LATE AND IT SPOILED THE PLAN ! ): So when reached cwp then when to buy tickets for SMURFS ~ Then went to food court to have our lunch settled. Played kartrider and then went to timezone to play some games ~ Then after that went to watch smurfs ~
It was nice LOL. The smurfs are like..okay not bad?
Then after that went home !

Sept 9

Went to Jurong Swimming complex with Weishin, Thiamhock,Raynor, Norres, JiWei and Jevon. Had a lot of fun ~ Had been long since we been there together.

I rather failed after trying, then to failing to try. When you fails it hurts alot. When it hurt alot it makes you grow stronger so when the next time you try, you willl be back stronger.


This was i posted on Facebook last year. LOL look at me now.

Try smarter and harder

nothing is really impossible,

again dont say anything as impossible

The word IMPOSSIBLE itself says Im possible

then why do u say it s not possible

everything is possible

Today is Teachers Day !!!!!!!!!!! WOAAAAAHHH

Lets talk about yesterday first.

Yesterday went for Teachers rehearsal from 9 to 5.30pm Very fun but tiring. Very hard to gather everyone. Then after that went to hall for our showcase to the teacher in charge and for them to give their comments and stuffs. EVerything end around 8.30pm
THEN after that PAtrine have to buy shoes for the performance the next day so we chiong all the way to Bugis iluma to get her shoes. We reached at 9.45pm but the shop only close at 10pm! Lucky us! Then after she picked a shoes we went to the food court to settle down and eat. After that went home ~~~ But quite fun LOL its like we run all the way from the MRT to iluma like o.o


SO TODAYYYYY

Woke up at 5am. The day before left my wallet and phone in hall and Xiang rong helped to me keep so I dont have any phone alaram for the day ):

So i used my parents piggy alarm clock and it worked like magic ! It was so bloody loud and i woke up immediately! Then bath and do stuff then went to meet Patrine, Huishi and Junhao ! Then went to school. We were on time but some were late ):

So we dont have time to practice and we have to go hall imeedately ): The 5n1 was the first one to perform and we are the fifth one to perform! Will upload the video here soon. I think i was too showy ): Btu others say i was good but i dont think so. HOWEVER as a class, i think all of us did well! Considering the little time we have to practice. It was very tidy (: After the performance went parade sqaure to take a lot of pictures ~~ TO BE CONTIUNE TIRED as i spent burn alot of midnight oil for teachers day ): Gonig sleep now ~

CONTINUED.

Took a lot of pictures! Then went home to use computer etc.

Then went to watch "Bad Teacher" with Serene, Fredrick, Joanne, Yanli and PeiYee ~

First time smuggled into a M18 movie even though i will be 18 in 4 months time, so fast ~ Ya.. They got someone to help them buy the tickets and the person is so interesting LOL.
The movie was alright, didnt know what the movie was getting at. Some nudity scene >.< like so shy.

After that walked to MRT. All the while they are like gossiping sia! LOL

Just some tweeter quotes. Erm i think they are very meaningful and 10 years down the road, i do not want to forget these quotes. so i nlogged it.


"Sometimes I talk too much and read into situation too much."

I think I'm afraid to be happy because whenever you do get too happy, something bad always happens....

The best feeling in the world is knowing that you actually mean something to someone.

Saying is so easy, everyone can say but who will do?

You live in the world that doesnt exist, therefore you aint real, you are like that world of yours.

如果在一段感情里，你不能成为你自己，你就不应该为之妥协。

Do you know why babies always want adults to hug them? Because when they grow up, the chances of them getting hug by someone is very slim..